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Life & beauty Weekly: happy You
6 ways to get What You Want
By Anne L. Fritz forever & beauty Weekly
When you ask your youngsters for more help around the house, do your requests fall on deaf ears? Do some people find it easy to say no to you at times?
Women, and especially mothers, excel at taking care of the needs of everyone around us. but when it comes to persuading someone to do something for us, it can feel uncomfortable or be difficult, says Laurie Puhn, a lawyer and author of immediate Persuasion: how to change Your Words to change Your Life.
Well, not anymore! You can learn to be persuasive — and do so without being bullish. The path to getting what you need is filled with obstacles, but if you present your case the right way, you will find success. Here’s how:
1. remember that rules can be broken.Don’t let a policy prevent you from asking of what you need or want. “Just because something is always done a certain way doesn’t mean you can’t be the exception,” says Puhn.
For example, if you want to return something after 35 days, but a store policy specifies 30 days is the limit, ask anyway. simply be polite and apologetic. (Remember the saying “You attract more bees with honey than vinegar.”)
2. give a good reason.To be successful, you must specify your case — all of it. utilize what Puhn phone calls “The because Clause.” “Research shows you’re more likely to get what you want if you use the word ‘because’ and give a reason for making the request,” she asserts. assisting people understand why you’re asking makes them more sympathetic to your cause.
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So, the next time you want to change tables at a congested restaurant, don’t announce, “We want to move to that booth, please.” Try, “I’d like to move because this area is so loud I can’t hear my pal speak.”
If it’s a raise you’re after, tell your boss you deserve it because of specific contributions you have made — and name them.
3. Be results-oriented.Only providing a problem (e.g., “I haven’t gotten a raise in two years!”) puts the other person on the defense right away. and if someone feels attacked, they are less likely to find up with a solution, says Puhn.
Likewise, if you place blame or squander time disagreeing over who is right and who is wrong (“No, the cable has been out since yesterday!”), it may only lead to a full-blown argument, not results.
Instead, summarize the problem without blaming anyone, then right away suggest a few solutions. Proposing a resolution from the get-go makes it easier for the other person to simply say OK, suggests Puhn.
4. request the moon. get the stars.Not sure what to propose? Whether you ultimately want more help around the house or retribution from the cable company, start by asking for something big, then negotiate. “When the person feels like they’re getting you to back down, they feel better about giving in to a compromise,” says Puhn.
Fed up with gathering dirty clothes off your teenager’s bedroom floor, for instance? Calmly propose she start doing her own laundry. When she balks, negotiate the smaller task of her bringing clothes to the laundry room and sorting them herself.
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5. acknowledge the other side.When trying to persuade someone, it’s important to listen to and address his or her objections. “If you listen first, you can adjust your request based on the new information,” says Puhn.
If you meet with resistance (which is likely when asking for a raise or something else substantial), try turning the tables. Ask your boss: “What do I need to do to get a raise?” Then, come back three or six months later and show that you’ve met those requirements, suggests Puhn.
6. Don’t take no for an answer.If you can’t get exactly what you want, keep negotiating, and you may at least get something, advises Puhn.
Your boss can’t afford to give you a raise? acknowledge her position by saying, “I understand there’s no budget for a $10,000 salary hike, but I would like a sign from the company that it values me as an employee.” See what she says butBuďte připraveni použít techniky č. 3 nebo 4: Navrhněte, aby vám poskytli více dnů dovolené nebo umožnili flexibilnější rozvrh.
Bez ohledu na situaci, pokud k ní přistupujete s jistotou a používáte tyto triky, postupem času si rozvíjíte pravomoci přesvědčování. Možná ne vždy získáte přesně to, co chcete, ale při pokusu získáte spokojenost.
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